Corrupt-a-Wish

To your significant surprise, you find yourself stranded on a tiny island on a huge ocean of tea. But hey, at least you have plenty to drink!

I wish for a better computer.

Granted. You now have a super computer. Its calculation capacity is staggering. Its so awesome you are likely not going to need a new computer for the next 20 years.

Unfortunately, the computer is so big, it fits in your entire home. Not even place to actually sit behind the computer and use it. And this problem makes it that no one wants to buy it from you either.


I wish blue oranges existed and were something you can eat without dying.

Granted, but in fact they are normal oranges dyed blue.

I wish my arms and neck didn't look so scaly (I got a sunburn) .

Your arms and legs don't look scaly; they are scaly! You're turning into a lizard person!

I wish for a really big house to keep my really big computer in - a house so big in fact that there's room for me in there too! (C.f. my previous wish.)

Granted, but your new house is so humongously big you can never make it to the only toilet in time.

I wish I could make tasty and nutritious sandwiches out of cardboard.

Granted. They may be tasty and nutritious, but people don't want to eat them anyway, because they still look like a cardboard.

I wish my computer didn't act so weird lately .

Time changes so that your computer didn't start acting weirdly; instead, you spilled coffee on it the day before it started acting weirdly and it stopped working altogether. You lost all your non-backed-up documents.


I wish I could forget the last hour of Mass Effect 3 so that I could enjoy it as much as I did the first time, next time I play through the game.
(Completed it about two hours ago and was whooping with excitement; still buzzing from it.)

Granted. In fact, the memory spell works so well that you forget all your other memories, too!

I wish it weren't so hot around here.

Granted. The entire city is magically placed inside a giant fridge. It's pretty cool now, but everything smells like raw fish.

I wish all software updates would actually be good and useful, instead of slowing down the program/device and making changes in the UI nobody asked for.

Granted, but the UI never gets changed to accommodate new features that were added, because no one specifically asks for that.

I wish i could make cardboard out of tasty and nutritious sandwiches.

Granted! With this new-found power, you get a new money and make lots of job! Unfortunately, the cardboard tastes awful, and africa in Children have to eat it now.

(Did you write your wish backwards or something, or was that intentional?  )

I wish I knew what the colors meant...

You know, but tragically, you go colour-blind.

I wish for a fish in a great big dish.

Granted. It's a pufferfish. Enjoy your meal, monsieur!

I wish it'was brilly, and that the slithy tothes did indeed gyre and gimble in the wabe.

Granted, but then you're eaten by the Jabberwock for some reason.

I wish I could use the KS level editor to alter the real world.

BTW, hiya StraightFlame, long time no see

Granted. The world gets covered in Eaters, lava pits, invisible death tiles and retracting spikes. Thanks for that one, bray!

I wish for Half Life 3.